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Barack Obama (Secret Republican)
THIS IS THE UNOFFICIAL THEORY SOME REPUBLICANS HAVE FOR THEIR MESSIAH. FOR THE REAL MOOSLIM OBAMA, SEE: Barack Hussein Obama Barry O'Bama is the United States' first Black Irishman — and also, black Secret Republican — to serve as president and is the U.S.'s 44th president. that hes on our side]] Barry Teddy Nixon Lincoln Bush Grant O'Bama is the 44th President of the United States of America Obama's agenda, as a secret republican double agent, has four steps that he's outlined in secret: #pose as a Democratic politician for 12 years #take over America's political establishment as the Decider #add a secret tax on 50 percent of all Baby-killing Liberals #enslave the Baby-killing Liberal race People say his mother was an atheist, but she was actually a Republican posing as an atheist. In short, Barry is half-black, but all Republican Liberal-hater. His Dad is supposedly from Africa (as if the place even existed), and O'Bama hasn't lived the typical experiences of an African-American. Fine, so he's half-African-Republican-American. Or so they tell us. We don't see race. Faking His Life In 2007, everyone assumed that Hillary was gonna take the whole shooting match. O'Bama needed something to separate himself. So he started planting fake evidence on himself. Making himself look like: a Muslim, a communist, a socialist, a terrorist, an alien, the anti-Christ, an Arab, a Negro, a Bear, a Baby-Killer, an Elitist, a Liberal, & a Democrat, After these things came out, O'Bama carved out a name for himself. But Nobody suspected what he really was. The Truth O'Bama is a republican. After the "Success" of the Bush Administration, O'Bama knew it would be difficult to run as a Republican. So he registered as a Democrat. Which automatically gave him much support. Proof that he is our big republican messiah *Why do you think Hillary fought him so hard in the primary race? SHE KNEW!!! *Anybody as awesome as him can't possibly be a baby-killing liberal. *He has true taste in culinary cuisine. Who is this guy? He was dropped off at an Al queda training camp. He met Osama Bin Laden. At age 4, he realized that he needed to stop this evil stuff. He went through training for a little while, and when the time was right, attacked Bin Laden. But in a fiery explosion, Bin Laden escaped. After the battle His father was in Kenya, & his mother was in Indonesia. O'Bama had to go to Hawaii to live with his Republican Grandparents. They taught him that it was okay to act Liberal as long as you don't believe in it. He went on to college, and eventually the state senate. 2004 Senate Campaign He ran for senate in 2004, this was the first time he pretended to be a democrat. He won with nearly 70% of the vote. 2008 Presidential Campaign Campaign He ran for president in 2008, this was the second time he pretended to be a democrat. He won with a 5% margin. The biggest margin in 20 years. The future of his ultimate mission In 2012, he will take the true believers and the It-getters through the mystic portal underneath the Chicago Cub's stadium. The journey will take long, but eventually, he will lead us to the promised land. The world of Ronald Reagan. Politics He is a republican. He used to live in California when he was visited by Ronald Reagan. Reagan told him about conservatism and bear-killing. O'bama took this advice to heart, and eventually became Reagan's secret apprentice. Because Reagan knew that O'bama would eventually lead the It-getters and Bear-killers to Reagan's promised land Mr. O'Bama once encountered a clan of bears. He killed the evil bears. Berlin's Mayor, Klaus Wowereit, presented Mr. O'Bama with the gift of a porcelain bear figurine. Allegedly, the bear is the symbol of Berlin. O'Bama then smashed it because BARRY O'BAMA FUCKING HATES BEARS!!!!! The Female Vote: The Ladies Love O'Bama His Reagan-y/Bush-y cabinet *Robert Gates: Bush's defense secretary. You can see the obvious reasons. *Susan Rice: CONDOLEEZZA RICE???? *Joe Biden: He's an old white haired white guy. Do I have to spell this one out for you????? The Council of Doom The Council of Doom has made it their #3 priority to make sure that Barry O'Bama does what is right for the people of America. Since He's a Republican, It doesn't matter O'Bama the Gourmand Note Effect on the Bear Uprising of 2012 O'Bama has actually saved us from the Bear Uprising of 2012. You see, O'Bama chose to keep Bush's Secretary of defense, Robert Gates as Secretary of Defense. By doing this, eventually Gates will be Shot in the face by Dick Cheney. After this, O'Bama will choose Stephen Colbert as Secretary of Defense. Colbert will then use his political power to Challenge the Colbear To a final battle in the roman Colosseum. Colbert will then turn into his alter-ego The Rampaging Colbert and lock up the Colbear once and for all. Being an American Hero, Colbert will Easily win the 2016 Presidential Election, With Mike Huckabee as his Running mate, and as his first order of business,he will have all bears killed in order to make sure a bear uprising never happens again. and we will all live happily ever after. Super O'Bama: America's New American Hero eat your heart out Superman As you know the liberal media has been overly suspicious about Barry O’Bama’s origins and birth. While we have proven that there is nothing suspicious about his birth, and that he is 100% human American, the reality is that that is the official version of the events. The truth is that O’Bama is an alien from outer space, sent by his Father (Gygax-El, the distant un-caring yet divine Dungeon Master in the Sky) to save our planet from the hippie bear-loving liberal Supervillains. So you see O’Bama is actually the Secret American Superhero “Super O’Bama”!! Yes, America. O’Bama is a Superhero and he is going to save America and Democracy!! Remember when Pirates invaded America? No? That is because Super O’Bama kicked their asses back into the sea! Remember that giant space meteorite that almost blew up the world? No? That’s because Super O’Bama blew it away in the sky!! Remember the Bear invasion of 2012? It never happened because the bears surrendered realizing they could not beat Super O’Bama!! Many Real Americans were concerned that since O’Bama was from outer space, he couldn’t possibly be a Christian. Don’t worry!! Super O’Bama is the brother of Super Jesus! They are both Space Messiahs and therefore they are Space Christians!! Obama will open his "Secret Super Hero Lair" in a distant secret island nation, on top of the "Obama Mount". Unlike Superman's "Fortress of Solitude" the "Obama Fortress of Sunshine" will be a super beach house with all the luxuries and amenities that a Super Hero should ever want. It will also be filled with ladies in bikinis and tons of alcohol... ssshhh dont tell his wife! Barry O'Bama Vs The Zombies (with a Special Guess Star!) The Awesomest Comic Book Ever... (with the secondest comming soon...) Photographic Evidence His family Image:BarackAndGrandparents.jpg|His conservative, and slightly racist grandparents. Image:BarackAndGrandmother.jpg|His female conservative, and slightly racist grandparent. Image:RWR.jpg|His father-figure, who gave him his great sense of humor. His Best Friends Image:Obamabushlove.jpg|Barry O'Bama may be Bush’s long lost twin… Image:17lede_colbert_icon.jpg‎|Who do you think came up with the poster idea??? Image:obamabush.JPG|Whenever someone touches Bush, they start to turn a little whiter. Image: Obama_messiah.jpg|O'Bama is actually the long lost brother of Jesus! Certificates of pure Awesomeness Image:Optimusprime1.jpg|Barry O'Bama is an honorary member of the autobots. Image:Obama-president-of-awesome.jpg‎|READY FOR DUTY, SIR!!! Image:Obama_superman_awesome.jpg|Like Superman, Barry O'Bama has a secret identity. By day he is a mooslim democrat bear-loving liberal to keep appearances, But by night he is a Christian Republican Jesus-loving conservative patriot!!! Image:Awesomesuperobamademotivation.jpg|Vote For Me If You Wanna Live!! Barry Husseing O'Bama Kills Osama Bin Laden Is O'Bama a Sekret Wizard? The short answer is: YES O'Bama is not only magic, he is magic! Need healthcare? No problem, he can heal you with magic. Need money? He can conjure lead to turn into god. Is the economy on a crapper? Magic. War in Iran? Magic. Republican Congress wont pass his bill... well, that one may require more of a miracle than magic. Other Black Secret Republicans *Martin Luther King, Jr. See Also * Barack Hussein Obama External Tubes *Obama IS a Secret Republican!! *Obama's friends are super cool! *Proof that Obama is a Sekret Republican: Cindy Sheehan Haets him *New Evidence that Obama is a Secret Republican *O'Bama is a Jedi Master! *More evidence that O'Bama is Jesus' brother *O'Bama Makes Being American Cool!! SUCK IT CANADA! *O'Bama: The Tragedy of Libural Lies *New Evidence supports that O'Bama is a Secret Republican *Republicans love the Obama Doctrine! *Obama continues the Bush legacy *B-Rock slams The Nut Cracker! *Super Obama to the rescue! *SuperObama Weakness is Kryptonite Pie! *Obama refuses to embrace his inner Hulk *O'Bama to continue Bush's legacy *The Obama Doctrine and How It Will Save America *O'Bama hates science! *O'Bama to preserve The Greatest Empire *O'Bama's Capitalist Health Care to bring new profits *O'Bama embraces The Bush Legacy *Obama liberates Costa Rica *How O'Bama is keeping us safe from terrorists *President O'Bama asks FBI to police Series of Tubes *Obama meets his hero! *Our President loves Nucular Powah just like us! He wants to share that love with the world! *even Obama hates liburals. but dont tell anyone! *Barry O'Bama hard at work *See, Republican! He haz the same friends as Bush! *More evidence that Obama is a Republican, Republicans love his speeches *O'Bama has the republican gene *As a Real American, Obama dont need to follow foreign customs *See, O'Bama hates the gays too! *If the geys dont like O'Bama, then he has to be a Republican *War with Iran could save our economy! *O'Bama invades India for coconuts: No Blood for Coconut Oil! *O'Bama defeats gay army *O'Bama to give more Tax Cuts to the rich! All Hail O'Bama!!! *O'Bama supports Enhanced Interrogation Techniques *How O'Bama is helping the Republicans to take in 2012 *O'Bama to continue War on Terror *He hates Canadians too *President O'Bama declares war on Libya *O'Bama visits his ancestral home: Ireland *More evidence that Obama is white, he is afraid of black people *O'Bama proves his Irish roots to the people of Ireland, nation rejoices *O'Bama tells racist joke. See, he is one of us! *O'Bama defeats enemy: Get's what he wants *Just like Bush, O'Bama cant get the Latino vote *Obama now master of Series of Tubes *Evidence that O'Bama loves the free market *O'Bama loves guns *O'Bama, tough on terrorism *O'Bama uses black magic to win election. *Obama is white! *Lucky Obama